To preface this posting, I would like to clarify that I’m an introvert. The term introvert is one of most misused words in my opinion, because for the most part everyone is introverted. It just depends on how much.

When I would first hear the term “introvert”, I thought it meant a person who does not like social interactions at all. This in fact, is not true. The best way I’ve seen it put, is to compare it to batteries. Everyone has a social battery, however, each battery varies in size. For introverts, the batteries are smaller and therefore run out quicker. That’s not to say however that the batteries can’t be fully charged.

Nonetheless, my battery is rather small so social energy can deplete me quickly. This means the people I put my energy towards is important, because I don’t have endless energy to be tossing around.

I thought this was a weakness growing up, particularly throughout school, because it took a lot for me to make friends and roll with the whole popularity thing that occurs during that time.

But now that I’m an old and wise 20 year old I realize it’s actually pretty nice. Less drama and I always know who I’m rockin with and who I’m not.

I can classify the people in my life in a very clear structure.

Layer 1

For lack of a comparison, we’ll go with layer 1 to classify the first layer. These are the people closest to me and who I am most comfortable with. This is who I spend the most amount of time with, particularly because they require little-to-no energy to be around. As I just mentioned, the energy I have is pretty scare which makes these people super valuable.

The people inside this layer are limited.

My family and a handful of friends.

There is no movement in and out of this layer. These are people who will always be in my corner and obviously know me better than anyone else. It took years of building trust with the people in this layer, meaning new people only enter this zone so often.

Layer 2

It’s rather self explanatory but layer 2 houses the next group of people. These people require a low level of energy.

People who I love to spend time with and know me pretty well.

The layer is not as concrete as layer 1, as a few people move in and out each year.

I’m going to speed the rest of the list up since I’m getting bored now so I’m sure you are too. Here we go-

Layer 3

A layer of peers. Everyone knows these people. People you see at work or school on a routine basis. You enjoy a conversation with them, but once you clock out they’re out of mind.

Layer 4

A layer of floaters. These people only appear every so often. To be honest some of my favorite people are in this layer. The interactions can feel fresh and not overdone. Perfect for my battery.

Layer 3 and 4 are full of people who come and go. Some people come into my life, spend a few years up in layer 2 then eventually drift out to layer 4 or even disappear completely (the outer layer).

I want to mention that the tiers of people do not represent how much I like certain people. Every tier is full of people I like, otherwise they wouldn’t be in my life. No wasted time with fools.

This is where it gets interesting again.

The Outer Layer

The place for all the people who completely disappeared from my life. Either by choice or our personal paths happened to diverge completely. Kinda sad to think about, but I hope everyone out here is doing well. Maybe they’ll see this and float back.

I do fear losing more people to the outer layer. It’s hard because I know it’s inevitable. In two more years I’ll be done with college, so there will be some pretty significant shifts in the layers. Everyone, including myself, will be starting new journeys moving in every direction.

It’s weird to think about. As I write this, names of people who will probably end up in the outer layer are circulating my head. I’ll say hi to people one day then never hear from them again.

But on the flip side, I can think about all the people who aren’t in my life yet. The people who will one day fill up the layers that surround me.

That part is rather exciting. It’s the charger for my battery. It’s what can motivate me to get out and try new things and meet new people.

It’s almost like an ongoing scavenger hunt to find the right people. Every so often I’ll be able to find them.

Advice to my future self: Movement between layers is natural, so don’t fight it. At the same time, don’t get lazy. Don’t let the right people float to the wrong layer. Also, keep an eye open for the new people who are meant to be close to you (they can be easy to miss).