As I am currently writing this (August 14th, 2022), I am faced with making a decision about what I want to do with meechio.

As soon as I allow eyes on my work, opinions and expectations are bound to follow. I am no longer building something for myself, but rather something to represent myself and appease the thoughts of others.

It’s a shift that disrupts the peaceful creation process. I expose myself to the subjectivity of others and create a label for myself which sets me up for biased assumptions. Even if I have the ability to say “f*ck it, I don’t care I’m going to do exactly what I want to do”, I will still have to overcome the subconscious thoughts of appeasing the audience.

Honestly it’s terrifying. Especially when I could simply keep it for myself.

But since you’re reading this, that means I have published meechio.

I have made myself vulnerable and the most uncomfortable I have ever been.

I realized at a certain point you have to step out from the space that is so comfortable. The space that is so warm and cozy and unproblematic. The space that allows you to get through each day without any new pressures or anxiety. The space that shelters you from all the thoughts and voices of others. The space where you spend all of your time until you have no time left. The space that locks you away from new adventures. The space that mutes your true character. The space that hides you from the world.

So here I am roaming out in the open. It’s quieter than I expected. I don’t quite feel safe but I do feel excited. And proud.

Advice to my future self: Don’t ever get stuck in the space and run out of time.